Be Assertive: The How-To Guide

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You want to be the happy medium—an assertive person. Assertive people seek out win-win scenarios and make their desires and beliefs known.

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Confident and assured, they approach situations with a healthy dose of objectivity, and as a result, are able to communicate clearly and directly in a low-drama, self-respecting way. Being assertive is effective. They also advanced more quickly than men.

What Is Assertiveness?

Unfortunately, women face barriers to projecting assertiveness at work. However, if she stays quiet, then she may be overlooked for opportunities or cast as the office pushover. Many women have stumbled upon tools like talking sticks or shine theory to get their voices heard.

Here are techniques for speaking up, pushing back, and getting your voice heard more often. When making a request or sharing your point of view, come from your own perspective. Confident communication is equal parts giving and receiving.

How to Be Assertive - Communication Skills Training From

In order to get what you want out of a situation, you have to understand where your counterpart is coming from. This is a good way to seek clarification, confirm your understanding, or get more information. Objectively rating your own behavior can be difficult. Therefore, it might help to get feedback from trusted colleagues or to conduct a degree review. Next time you enter a similar situation, rehearse what you are going to say and how you will say it beforehand. Ames and Zander both suggest you challenge yourself with a specific time-bounded behavioral goal. For example, give yourself a week to initiate three difficult conversations with colleagues.

Try a different one. Therefore, it can help to get to know people outside of work.

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Be Assertive: The How-To Guide - Kindle edition by Elizabeth Janice. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features. Learning to be more assertive can help you improve relationships, get promoted, reduce stress, and gain respect. Download "Be Assertive: The How-To Guide".

Find your own style instead of trying to imitate others. This is especially true for women. Nor do you need to be more assertive in every context every day.

The Benefits of Being Assertive

Zander warns that being overly assertive is often interpreted as self-promotional or arrogant. Monitor the impact you have on others.

Stop Hedging

Be sure your efforts to push more are well intended. Case Study 1: Make promises and keep them Katie Torpey is a filmmaker and screenwriter. Assertive executives and insistent dealmakers dominate the industry she works in.

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Katie was successful, making several movies and television episodes, but she often held back in meetings, rarely saying what was on her mind. These linguistic habits can creep into your questions just as easily as they can water down your statements. Just state your requests more directly. You know you have to look people in the eye, stand tall, and give a firm handshake in order to make a first impression. Speak clearly and audibly, make eye contact, and act as though you expect cooperation from them. The reason helps because it shifts people from making an up-or-down decision to having to argue with the reason.

Sometimes, just the effort of having to grapple with the reason is enough to get people to agree. A classic study by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer and her colleagues looked at this issue when people would line up to use the office photocopier.

The 6 Secrets Of Successfully Assertive Leaders

I need to make some copies? Of course, a good reason not just any reason also helps bolster the case for your request. The trick, though, is to keep your request short.